Good-bye Loma de Luz

Josh and I went to the Children's Center and got pulled into a water fight. Great fun.

If you guys remember the blog of the family who got in the motorcycle accident. The dad and son both had severe head injuries. Here they are. A beautiful sight considering all of the doctors thought that little boy was going to die on me before I could get him to Ceiba.

This sweet little one came to us after getting a basilar skull fracture.

This is her afterwards. Doesn't she look WAY better?

Just a good pic of us walking down the road to the Children's Center. As yall can see he shaved his beard, because it was interfering with his snorkeling.

This little boy was in the hospital with acute post-strep glomerulonephiritis. He a hypertensive encephalopathic seizure and almost scared me to death. I have never given Lasix or an ACE inhibitor to a child, but I did to him. Here he is back for his follow-up appointment. Doing great, blood pressure improved, and weaning off his medications.

NH here:

I guess I too must write a closing blog..... What shall I write? I always hate the final wrap-up. Last night, Josh and I had dinner with a missionary family, and they asked the inevitable questions: What has impacted you the most during your stay here? Impossible to answer, but I will give it a try.

The Lord is constantly refining me through this crazy career in medicine. Just when I take a deep breath and think that maybe He'll allow me to be comfortable in my abilities and skills, He begins to stretch me even further. This has allowed me the realization that He is in control after all. When you are placed in a situation with limited medical resources as a physician used to being able to "do all you can do," you started praying first and doing medicine second. He is in control. Sometimes He allows renewal of life (like the elderly lady who I thought was going to die from COPD without a ventilator) and sometimes he takes it away (like the 28 weeker who we bagged all of the way to Ceiba just to die several hours later). I do not understand sometimes why He does the things He does sometimes, but I have learned/am learning to rely on Him.

I have learned about a beautiful word called "redemption." I used to think that this was kind of a Bible word or a future word. Like, once we get to heaven, we will experience redemption. I have been learning and witnessing that the Lord has redemption work he is doing right here on earth. As J mentioned in his last blog, the children's center has been one of our favorite ministries to witness while we were here. We have come to know Liz and Ian, two Scottish missionaries who spend their lives with anywhere from 20-30 children in dire need of redemption. The other night, we sat on their couch while they showed us pictures and told us stories of the kids we had grown to love. The before pictures were shocking, but the beauty came with the after pictures. These children are being redeemed both physically, most obviously, but also in Spirit. It reminds me of Genesis 50:20 where it says, "As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today." There is evil and bad in the world, but He can redeem things/people for His purpose.

We have done much thinking and praying about whether or not the Lord is calling us to international missions full time. I cannot say I have received a clear answer about this. We all want a lightning bolt from heaven, and God to say, "I want you to do_______." Well, at least for me, this is not usually the way that it happens. He is ALWAYS faithful to reveal things to me, but it never seems to happen in MY timing. I would like to know what I'm doing after residency so I can go ahead and plan. But I feel that God is saying, "Trust in me. I am sufficient for you." This is a difficult lesson and one I feel I will learn many more times over in this life before I get it. I guess I am a neurotic, control-freak, Type A person when it comes down to it like most people in medicine, but I am learning to hold things loosely before God.

If I have not said this before, I want to make it clear. In no way do I feel that God NEEDED me here in His work. But do feel very priviledged that He has allowed me to participate in His work that is already going on here. God is palpable and present at Loma de Luz, and I have just been a priviledged witness and participant. Loma de Luz, thank you for the lessons about God. Thanks for serving Him selflessly in your little corner of the earth. Thank you for allowing us to be participants even for a short time in your ministry. We hope to be back someday.

Thanks to those who have read along with us as we have taken this journey. I hope that you too have been able to learn and grow with us. We are off tomorrow morning to Roatan for a REAL vacation. Like a real one. Not one where I am working. Not one where we are visiting family. A real one. When we get home, we MAY do a final blog about our vacation or at least post some pics from it.

NH

Watch where you stand

This is the hive. I know it doesn't look like much in the picture but it's about 12ft across and goes quite a ways under ground. A lot of the people here try to kill them with gasoline because they sometimes damage their crops. I hear it's still hard to get rid of them though.
No sewing, but lots of reaping.



They never stop, there are literally millions of them walking in this line.






Here they are coming and going up this tree trunk. The ones with the yellow flowers are coming down and there are a lot going up that you can't really see.







Here's one of the paths they have cut in the grass. Such a big help when it comes to accidentally standing on them. Army ants are not nearly as nice. They leave the grass and eat everything that moves. Yes including toes. One interesting thing about the army ants down here is that they will occasionally move into peoples homes, by the millions, or at least hundreds of thousands. They only way to deal with them is to leave. You physically cannot stay in your home. So you leave go hang out with a friend or go into town and about 5 or so hours later they are all gone. Along with everything else that was living in your house. They eat the bugs the geckos even the spider webs. They are very good at what they do.


Hey guy, J here.







Not a whole lot has happened for me the past few days that's been very blogable. Mostly because of the amount of rain we have been getting. I have mostly just been hanging out in the apartment either reading or attempting to do some writing. I also drove NH to the hospital while she was on call every other day last week too. I don't believe I have posted any pictures yet of the leaf cutter ants they have here. So that's what all these are of. A still shot doesn't do them justice, but I didn't have the other camera so stills are all I have right now. I have decided that there are more ants on the property here at the hospital than there are humans on the planet. I have been bitten/stung at least 30 times since we have been here. luckily they were mostly from incredibly small fire ants and a few army ants. The army ants were by far the worst. The fire ants would sting for about 30 seconds or so, but if you rub the bite it would go away pretty quickly. I guess because they are so small here the amount of venom they can deliver is a lot less. The army ants however throb for a good 5-6 minutes and continue to burn for another 10 or so. I haven't been bitten by these leaf cutter ants though, mostly because of how obvious they are. They completely cut down all the grass where they will be walking making a little dirt path. Not sure why, I guess it helps with travel speed. Then they will pick a tree and completely strip certain types of leaves from it. The ones in the pictures are mostly harvesting the flowers from about 4 trees. Whats really cool about them though is that they don't actually eat the leaves they harvest. They gather all these leaves and take them down into their hive putting them in their "fields" near the bottom of the hive and actually grow a fungus that they then eat. Pretty amazing stuff.




Well this may or may not be my last blog before we head off on our vacation since we are going to try and go internet free and actually enjoy ourselves without worrying about who poked us on bookface. I know my blogs are light hearted and are often less than serious, but that has simply been to counter my wife's blogs which have been very deep and insightful. I have actually learned a lot on this trip. Not just about the culture here, but about our future and what that may look like. I'm not saying we will be coming back here, just that we have both discovered new points of view to consider as we move forward. This is the first time I have ever been able to see my wife actually being a doctor. Accept for the baby conversations with Casey. lol. I was actually able to come into a delivery room after a 2lb baby was born at about 29 weeks and watch my wife fight to save it's slim chance at a life, and then ride with them into town at 2am while they breathed for the baby the whole way. I have met some of the bravest people I think I will ever have the pleasure of calling my friends. All below the age of 12 years old. Their stories of rape, abuse, starvation and abandonment would bring anyone to tears, quickly followed by an overwhelming sense of perspective. For I think the first time in my life, i have met children, even babies who cry for me to hold them and pull away from anyone else who tries to take them away. I presume this is because of the lack of men in their lives. I have also had my heart melted by a little girl I can barely understand. All she has to do is smile and say "Joush!" Sadly this children's center is closed to international adoption and I can truly say that brings tears to my eyes every time I think about it. Even now.







Thank you so much to all of you who have been faithfully following along and for keeping us in your prayers. To have shared this journey of growth and discovery with all of you has truly been a blessing.







I would also like to thank you all for the unanimous vote to allow my wife a almost guilt free vacation : )







Adios



J

Hospital Loma de Luz photo tour

This is the Hospital Loma de Luz (in Spanish "Hill of Light")
These are some of the missionary kids who are making a banquet. They are home-schooled and have been going through a book called the Red Wall book. It was a taste-testing of things like Grogg (alcohol-free, of course) and Stew, and the recipes were all from the book.


This is the hospital's operating room. The only surgeries I have been in on since I've been here have been C-sections. Anesthesia: ketamine and fentanyl.

This is the ER. This was taken with it empty. It was full, however, yesterday afternoon when I was on call. It was "headache" day in the ER which is at least less gross than when I had "eye" day and worst of them all "penis" day. Bleh.

This is me in my clinic room. They actually have a mini-EMR that is, dare-I-say, WAY easier and more efficient than Allscripts. The computer also allows me to use Google translator (particularly useful the other day when I did not have an interpreter all day) and uptodate to look up all of the crazy things I see here that I never see back home. (pretty sure I had a case of Dengue fever the other day.)

This is the real reason that I like to work in clinic... my exam room is AIR CONDITIONED! Shhhh.... don't tell Josh.

Thank you all for participating in our "poll the audience blog." With all of the facebook and blog comments I have gotten, I believe I will admit defeat. We are going to Roatan, and I'm going to swim with dolphins. I'm doing it not because I NEED it or DESERVE it, but I will enjoy this as a blessing the Lord has given me.

Polling the Audience

So "Polling the Audience" is something Josh and I sometimes do in our small group. We tell the group the problem/situation/dilemma and everyone gets to put their 2 cents in. Here's the delimma.....

NH here:
At the tail end of our trip, we have planned on taking a vacation to Roatan for snorkeling, etc. And for some reason, I keep feeling increasingly guilty about it: for the time, the money, etc. My point of view is that its really difficult to leave a place where I have been serving a hospital, people, and even missionaries who the money that we are spending on a vacation would really help. I am also just not really good at the whole relax and vacation thing. I mean, is it weird that I see this whole month as an exciting vacation? Even though I'm working most days and on call, its exciting, new, and, at the risk of sounding nerdy, fun. Oh, and did I mention we are in a ton of debt? I'm also probably going to swim with dolphins which (cheesy, I know) has been on my bucket list since I was a little girl. But if any of you ever watched the documentary "the Cove," you will know why I feel guilty even about that. Oh, boy.

J here:

"Ahem! First I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of our wonderful followers for coming out this evening. Especially considering the rain tonight. I can certainly see my opponents point of view and even sympathize with her, to a degree. However, I have also been there the past year and a half of residency and have seen the absolute torture she has endured at the hands of our medical system. Just because you 'get used' to working 80+ hour weeks, does not mean it's healthy. Also she nor I have been on an actual vacation during any of that time. She has gone to Salt Lake city once to study and take a test and I'm sorry folks, but visiting family does not count either. Our time here has indeed been enjoyable and perhaps not as trying in some ways, as being back in the states. However I would like to add that just before we begin this vacation (Which is already paid for btw. Thank you Dave Ramsey.) she will have been on call 4 out of the past 8 days. That's right residents Q2 call. Granted she isn't sleeping at the hospital but we all know a night on call means a night of un restful sleep. True we do have a loan or two that needs paying, but we have nearly reached our goal of paying the first off by the end of the year. Not a small amount I might add. With moonlighting in full swing we are able to make a little more each month and promised our self before it started that we would save a percentage each month for fun. I say why waste another plane ticket when we are already here at the worlds second largest barrier reef. Who's with me?!?! For all those who would vote against my wife enjoying her first vacation since our honeymoon...You are dead to me. And to Trent Coker who is undoubtedly planning on refuting my position just for fun, I still love you anyway.

NH: Don't let Josh play on your heart strings. He won't let me write a rebuttal like in any normal debate. So.... anyways, comment away.

I think I lost about 10 lbs today.... from sweating.

Last night I was on call, and my normal black cloud did not follow me. The only call I got was at 2am, and the nurse said there was a patient in labor (I got this much in Spanish over the radio). However, when I came out of my room to meet my interpreter, he said, "Did you hear her say that the head was already out?" "No," I say, "We need to go now!" We rush down the hill to the hospital, but thankfully, he had heard wrong. She was crowning with a big, bulging bag of water. She was there with her "partera" or Honduran midwife, and the story is she had been laboring for 2 days straight. Either way, I called in our OB back-up so that we'd have a doc for baby and a doc for mom, pop the bag of water, and out comes crying baby. I know you are all tired of delivery stories, but I LOVE THEM!

Well, this morning, Rimas, our missionary sponsor, offers to take us on a hike through the mountains. Of course, we say, "yes." I don't have clinic, because its a holiday here in Honduras. (They have alot of holidays around here- 3 just in October.) We hiked up a mountain to a peak that overlooks the ocean (see pic below) then down a "trail" (i.e. wherever we decided to walk and move branches out of the way) to a river where we walked several miles along a riverbed. We finally saw white-faced monkeys (though we didn't get a good picture). We also saw bugs, flowers, and birds. All in all, it was hot and exhausting but well worth it, and I believe there has to be something cleansing about sweating for 4 hours straight. Gross story, but I sat down on our couch when we got back, and when I got up, there was a Nancy-Hart shaped sweat stain on the couch. Disgusting. (TMI? I'm trying to compete with Josh's TMI "safe zone" post from a while back.)

Rimas, our awesome trail guide, climbed a tree to pick a cocoa fruit. This fruit contains the seeds from which chocolate is made. But what I didn't know is if you pick the seeds out and suck on them, and it is a delicious, mid-hike treat.

This is at the river bed.

Nice pic of a dragon fly

This was the overview from the highest point of the hike. See all of those buildings down below? They are from the "Canadian Project." Apparently a while back, a bunch of Canadians decided to come down and build vacation houses here using the benefit of the fact that the hospital had already brought power and clean water. It is a gated community, and I have actually never seen a person in it. Hm..... maybe there's more to that story.

This is my Honduran hermanita. Her name is Patricia, and she works with the hospital's midwife, John. I got to know her throught the remote OB clinics we have done together. She is 17 years old and currently in nursing school. She loved it when I let her find fetal heart tones and measure bellies. Every time I have seen her since then, she has brought me a little present..... a hairy crab claw, a piece of quartz crystal, and a piece of coral with the word "amiga" written all over it. I had her over for tea the other day, and we had a good time talking about our families and such. Strangely though, she walked right into my kitchen and started washing my dishes. I was like, "STOP! What are you doing? You are my guest." She finally did stop when she could tell that I was serious, but it was still a bit odd. I will be going on another remote OB clinic tomorrow with her.

Little tidbit from the Word. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11. As I think about my future, I sometimes feel anxious that I may not end up doing the things that I am passionate about and somehow waste my life. Now, I know this is silly for He continues to provide me with opportunities to serve Him through medicine time and time again both in Greenwood and here in Honduras. This verse reminds me that, unlike what I sometimes think, God is not out to get me. AND if I am delighting myself in Him and following Him wholeheartedly, I will not live a wasted life. I am reading along with the women's bible study John Piper's "Don't Waste Your Life." Piper reminds me that "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." May we all continue to seek Him and be satisfied in Him. On a side note about the future, I think I may have a plan for a future medical practice. All I need are 3-4 other like-minded physicians...... ask me about it later.

More to come.

NH

P.S. YAY for our good friends the Hanna's who finally got their court date to finalize their adoption. Praise the Lord.

More pics

Yay! Found my first iguana yesterday. My best guess is he's a young male, but seeing how it's still a juvenile it's tough to say.

I've seen a lot of these guys, but they don't let you get very close. I camped out for about an hour the other day, just sitting in one spot on a concrete block, nervously watching a line of army ants about 5ft away and was able to catch some pretty amazing stuff with my camera. This was one of them.

This was another one. This little guy became pretty comfortable with me and eventually ended up hanging out about 15ft from me chowing down on ants climbing his tree. if you look really close you can see one in his beak.

Ok I got really excited about this little guy. I was just sitting inside eating lunch with NH and I happen to see a LBB (little brown bird) land on a tree just outside. I stared at it for a second and thought it was an unusual size compared to most of what I have seen. Not really small, but not really big either. I go grab my camera and zoom in only to realize it's an OWL! Owls at noontime? Obviously this owl has never been to Oasis church and been regaled with tales of just why you don't hang around outside at noontime! Those poor goats. Curt, we have to come here and warn the wildlife!

Well that's all the time I have for now. Sadly most of my creative writing time is being taken up by this book. It's pretty exciting though. I'm discovering just how amazing it is to watch a story i thought I had figured out evolve into something new and alive.

J

Este es el dia que hizo el Senor, me gozare, y le alabare.

That title means, "This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it." It is a very appropriate title considering I am blogging about one of the best Sabbaths I have ever had. It has some work included (which maybe is a bit blasphemous), but if you like what you do as much as I do, is it really work?

1.) Iglesia:

Most of the missionaries here go to "missionary church," i.e. gringo church. Now, I can imagine for those people who are here full time, it is probably much needed nourishment to worship and fellowship in your native language. For J and I though, one of favorite experiences of traveling is the experience of worshipping God with people of other cultures and in other languages. So anyways, Penny and John, 2 missionaries, do not go to gringo church but go to a Honduran church a little ways down the road from the hospital. We asked if we could go with them and planned on doing just that. Well, that morning there was a mini emergency that John and Penny had to attend to. They are the transportation for all of the kids at La Casa de Ninos so that responsibility then fell to us. Josh was scared to death driving a pick-up truck with at least 12 children in the back. They kept chanting for him to go fast, but he held fast. The service was a sweet time of worship. The children lead praise and worship, and there is something special about how children sing. It does not matter if they are out of tune or whether they have any rhtyhm at all. They are joyful worshippers singing at the top of their lungs and dancing with all of their energy. The message was on Romans 7---the passage where Paul says something along the lines of "I don't do what I want to do, and what I want to do, I do not do." Anyways, I have been also working through Romans in my quiet times, and it was good to meditate on these passages during church. Now that saying sounds a bit confusing, but I think we can all relate a bit to the battle between flesh and spirit. I know what it is that I want to do but I just don't do it. The only good news comes a little later in Romans 8 where it says, "For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death." Praise the Lord!

Dolly one of the women at the church. She is a beautiful, strong woman of God who reminds me of another strong, beautiful women of God in another country all of the way across the world. I am remembering my friend Rose, and her family while I'm writing this blog. She is the wife of a pastor in South Sudan.
Some of the kiddos. The young lady in the forefront of this picture came to la Casa as one of the worst cases of malnutrition they have ever seen. I have seen the pictures. It is not pretty. As you can see now, she is well-nourished, beautiful, and happy.

There is a joke here in Honduras that goes something like this. "How many Hondurans can you fit in one truck?" The answer is, "always one more." They truly live by this. One of the missionaries said he one time fit 38 people in his pick-up truck. By the way, the gringo is one of the missionary's grandson who has been living here for the past 10 months. He was the person who was baptized at the waterfall a while back.

2.) Deliveries:

Here is the second part of my awesome day. Now this is maybe when you would say that perhaps I was not taking a true Sabbath. But what better worship is there than to help bring new life into the world? There is nothing more awe-inspiring than a newborn baby with her fingers and toes so perfectly designed.

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalms 139: 13-14

3.) Lastly.... food and fellowship:

The OB doc here invited J and I to his house for dinner. Oh, man! He was grilling as we walk up chicken from the farm on site here. We walk in, and his wife is making all sorts of treats: beans, corn casserolle, fresh vegetables, roles, and ICE CREAM! We eat our full and enjoy the fellowship. The doc and his wife actually worked in Zimbabwe at a hospital I spent a month at when I was younger so we swapped stories.

Well, J is looking over my shoulder telling me that this is too long so I will wrap it up. Thank you all for reading our blog and keeping up with our stories.

NH

photos only

Toco Toucan-pretty shy but I managed to get a few shots

No that's not a banana in my pocket. It's a "Bunch" of bananas

Get excited! This is called a Trogon and is really rare. I've asked around and some of the other bird watchers have never even seen one.

Army ants- You really have to watch where you stand around here. I was looking up in the trees taking pics of birds and all of a sudden my feet are screaming in pain. From what I've heard they don't sting but there bite hurts something awful. Believe me!

Bat- Maybe a Big Brown. Just not too sure about the ones down here. We helped get this out of one of the teachers room.

Just a pretty swampy area right off the beach. Lots of beautiful trees. I like big Buttresses!





Thats all for now. Heading to dinner with one of the Dr's.

J

Insert clever title here

This was a little girl who lives at the children's center with her young mother. The funny thing about this was that she was also my picture, and the last time I saw her, I was squeezing pus out of an abscess over an eye. About 10 seconds after this picture was taken, she remembered me from that and started squalling uncontrollably.
This is Marilyn, another child at the children's center. Apparently she LOVES J. We played a really fun game where I would pretend like I was going to pick her up, and she would cling to J. Its the opposite of what usually happens at church where children look at him and start crying. He was loving it. I think here she was looking at him wondering where his big ole beard went.


Big Sister doing her hair.

Our friends before a rousing game of deer, shield, pistol. The kid to our right has finally forgiven us for kicking his tail in soccer and then not letting him cheat. We were not quite sure what we were arguing about, but I'm pretty sure we were right.

NH here:

Well, its been a few days, and there are a few things about which to update you all.

I was able to go to Rio Esteben, a town a little ways down the road to do prenatal clinics. It has basically been an effort to provide women in more rural towns access to prenatal care. The vast majority of babies born in Honduras are born at home, and the women/child death statistics are atrocious. As you can imagine, a breech baby born at home.... not a good idea. Post partum hemorrhage.... common cause of momma deaths. So John, a midwife here, had the idea to go out into these rural villages and bring prenatal care. There was alot of hesitancy at first, but he said that the doppler has been his saving grace. Women EVERYWHERE love to listen to their baby's heart beat. We measure bellies, listen to heart beats, try to figure out when the heck their due date is, and encourage first time moms and moms with risk factors to deliver at the hospital. At this clinic, I also met Patricia. She is a 17 year old Honduran girl who is going to nursing school and working at these rural clinics as well at the OB clinic in the hospital. It was very fun to work with her and teach her how to measure bellies and find fetal heart tones.

Last night, J and I were invited to pizza night at a missionary family's house. The pizza was delicious, and we enjoyed picking their brain about their years on the mission field, raising support, etc. And as with any dinner that includes 3 doctors (both the husband and the wife are physicians), the conversation always ended up back on medicine. We can't help it! Anyways, as we were finishing up, there is a call on the radio. A 29 week baby was born. At first the physician had handed the baby back to mom to hold thinking that there was no way that she would make it. But then this little fighter started crying, looked pink, and had pretty decent tone. She was working hard to breath, but this little girl was fighting. They were calling to speak to the Pediatrician so we headed down the hill. After much debate of what could be done for this little one with the resources we have. (We do not have a pediatric ventilator, only had one does of surfactant that was 5 months expired, and the closest place with a pediatric ventilator was in San Pedro Sula.... at least 4 hours away). After much debates and nobody really wanting to be the one to make such a horrendous decision, we decide to give a dose of surfactant (which I became the "expert" on having seen it done maybe once by our NICU nurses and read about in Harriet Lane on the way down the hill) and bag the baby until La Ceiba (1.5 hours away). They would then be able to transfer them to San Pedro. The catch is, as before, the ambulances refuse to come out this far, because they say it is too dangerous with all of the drug/gang violence/farm animals in the road.

I volunteer to go, and J volunteers to go with me. Also coming with us is the leader of the children's home (who ends up getting roped into these drives on a semi regular basis), the midwife (to take care of mom and to interface with the Honduran physicians), and one of the EMT's. The EMT, interestingly enough, is leaving for the states on Monday and had requested some neonatal resuscitation teaching which I had JUST done the night before. Coincidence? I think not. Nothing like putting your new found knowledge into action. We bag this tiny little baby all of the way to La Ceiba, and she remains relatively stable the whole time. We arrive and the same resident who was there last week greets us as we enter. We drop mom and baby off head back towards the hospital. These situations are difficult to deal with in the states, but the decisions are nearly impossible here. I mean, the baby looked good for 29 weeks, but there are alot more factors to take into account and alot more hurtles for this little one to jump over.

On a random side note, we were driving back and had several close encounters with farm animals walking in the road. You see, if they are facing you, you see their eyes shining. If they are facing away, however, it is difficult to see them, and this fact is the cause of many car/motorcycle accident. Anyways, our driver mentioned a brilliant idea for a short-term mission team. He said, he thinks it would be really helpful if a team came in and painted the back side of all of the cows and horses with reflective paint so they would be easier to spot while driving at night. Something to think about, Oasis Church, if you're reading. Hahahahah.

On a more personal side, this time here has made me think about where it is the Lord would have in the future. I have been praying alot about it and trying to be still and quiet before Him waiting for a word. I have not heard one. I am someone who believes that the God can definitely give people specific callings on their life (There is no way I would be a doctor had I not had that specific calling). I also believe though that there are times when we do not hear his voice directly, and it is not wrong to look at the gifts and passions He has given you and move towards those things. So the things that I know about myself: I have a passion for the poor and for women's and children's health. I enjoy working in other countries but fear losing the broad set of skills that my residency has afforded me. I do not love emergencies but seem to thrive in them. I have a PILE of loans left to repay and feel that it is my burden alone to repay. Missions does not lend itself well to paying off loans. I do not LOVE the idea of raising support, but I DESPISE the idea of other people paying off my loans. I have also been told by others though that the later you wait to go on the mission field, the less likely you are to do it. As you can see, there are many thoughts floating around in my head. Pray for clarity. Pray that I would be but clay in His hands to be used for His glory.

That's all for now. Going to watch Survivor with our missionary sponsors. Oh, yeah!

NH

Rock,paper,scissors,lizard,Spock

Baby Gecko

Baby Basilisk

Butterfly

The Stanky Leg Lizard

Hey guys J here.

Went into Ceiba yesterday to do some grocery shopping. Picked up hopefully enough stuff to get us through the next 2 weeks. Sadly there was no coconut milk so our plans for curry have been foiled it would seem. I could probly just find a coconut around here somewhere though. While at the grocery store/mall I was able to go eat some chinese at the food court and pick up a few bootleg DVD's for movie nights here. So that was exciting. Also picked up a Domino's pizza to bring back for NH and myself. Went back to the childrens home to hang out with some of the kids again and were recruited into a impromptu soccer game. Not exactly sure who won. There was alot of yelling though(mostly in spanish). We were also taught a new form of rock, paper scissors by some of the girls. Although not quite as cool as, rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock, it was still really fun. Apparently you have a gun which beats the deer (or some horned animal atleast) then shield which beats the gun. and finally the deer jumps over the shield. You play till one of you wins 10 times and then you get to squeeze the losers cheeks while everyone laughs. Fun times.

It's really beautiful out today, but so hot I'm having trouble convincing myself to go outside. Maybe later this evening. Hope everyone is doing well back home.

J

Cuban tree frog?

Humming bird

Butterfly

Howler Monkey

Hey guys J here.

Sorry I haven't written in awhile. Ben kind of busy/lazy this weekend. We were here with a skeleton crew and were house/dog/cat sitting for some folks. It was pretty nice to have a cat in the bed again. The dog is still being house trained so that wasn't nearly as nice. He did look alot like George though Trent, so at least he was cute. We definitely get our exercise here walking up and down these hills. I have no idea what the grade is but I know you can't go any higher than 2nd gear and actually go anywhere. I found it pretty amazing that all we had to do was go up the mountain to the next tier of houses to find a completely different set of wildlife. Different butterfly species lots of lizards like Basilisks and this other kind that seems to have touretts. I'm serious, every time they stop walking they start shaking their front feet like they are waving at you. Lots of rain. Apparently this is the beginning of the rainy season which mean instead of rain 1-2 times a week it rains 5-6 days a week. Not like afternoon showers back home either. It's the rain forest for a reason which means they get over 200 inches of rain a year for those of you who didn't know what actually makes something a rain forest. Saw some sweet howler monkeys as you saw in the pics above. Name is pretty self explanatory, because they are really loud. Every time a car drives by the jungle seems to explode with this horrible....howling. They are pretty fun to watch though. especially the ones with babies riding around. NH finally got to go snorkeling the other day. Rimas took us out to the really good reef this time. Which means we had to swim out like a quarter mile at least. On the way out I stopped and turned around one time and thought to myself. Yeah if a shark bit me I would totally bleed out before I could get to shore, let alone a hospital. After all my whining and complaining and nearly drowning I made it. Last but not least. Once i got there though all the fatigue seemed to instantly drain from my body as I saw some of the best reefs I have ever seen. P.S. I've snorkeled the Great Barrier Reef so when i say this it actually means something. I have to work on my deep diving though. I was having a little trouble with my mask and the pressure in your ears is pretty painful as you go down if you don't have an effective way to equalize the pressure. Even though I stayed mostly near the surface it was still freaking awesome. I didn't take many pics because its really hard to focus on something when you aren't able to stay still. I took a few more videos but wont be posting those because they are too long. It felt really good when we got back to shore though. It wasn't until then that I realized our feet hadn't touched solid ground for an hour and a half. Never knew I could tread water that long. Glad to have Trent finally following along and posting. Hopefully this will motivate me to blog more now that I don't feel like this is a give only relationship. Seriously people we want you to post every once in awhile. It's kind of disheartening to log on and feel like nobody is reading this stuff. Especially when I make up complicated equations that relate to everyday life. Ok putting my soap box aside. Looks like I'm heading into ceiba tomorrow to do some grocery shopping. We are running dangerously low on supplies. And by dangerously low I mean I'm tired of peanut butter sandwiches for 3 meals a day. More to come.

J

P.S. I shaved today for the first time in 2 months. NH's jaw dropped when she saw me. Swears I look 12 years old.

Pictures only blog

Interesting cross walk. Way to be green, Honduras. This was taking in one of the bigger cities we drove through on our way out to Loma de Luz.

Avacados from the tree behind our place.

Abuse is alive and well here in Honduras as well as in the states. I have this ethical dilemma, because I want to post pictures of my patients, but I feel weird about it. I mean, mothers and babies are one thing, but pictures of abused or sick kids... I think that's a little different. So I'm sorry I'm leaving this pictures out. But I thought x-rays would be a safe bet. First x-rays shows a skull fracture (indicated with an arrow) and the 2nd one is an old healing humeral fracture. If the picture turned out better, you'd also be able to see a healing clavicular fracture.

The Twins I helped delivery. So very, very cute, right?

Our two little friends Josenia y Reina. They are girls who live at the Children's Center that I have mentioned before. I wish I could take them both home with me. If my hair looks like a mess, well, that's because they proceeded to "make me over" and that is the result.

More pics to come, but this has made me realize why I don't do picture blogs.... they take so much more time.